No one owes you anything

'No one owes you a living'

'No one owes you anything'


From when I was a mere 18 year old, I heard these two phrases mouthed by the head of department to a departing colleague.

Departing colleague angrily stormed out of the office, and I never saw her again. Frankly, I can't even remember her name nor face anymore.

But those two phrases overheard at an impressionable age stayed with me, and reminded me often times that I have no right to expect others to lend me a helping hand.

If the helping hand is extended, be thankful for the generosity.

If the helping hand is not extended, that's life. Live with it. Accept it.


No one owes it to me, to give me a helping hand.

No one, whether family, friends, colleagues or bosses, owe it to me, to ensure my success and well-being in life.

The success of another person is his hard work. His lot in life.

If he chooses to share it with you, good for you.

If he chooses not to share it...*shrugs* well, he doesn't have to.


We often see the plus side of a person's lifestyle. How much he makes a month, what car he drives, what house he lives in, the number of holidays he takes a year, etc.

And we envy. We crave for the same.

We expect some form of socialism, some sharing of goodies.

We often choose to ignore his liabilities and responsibilities. We ignore the number of hours he puts in at work. The amount of stress he had to take on. The results he has to deliver.


A young girl told her mother that she'd like to be an investment banker when she grows older.

Reason? It's portrayed as a glamourous, well-paid, highly sought after vocation.

Her doting mother arranged for an investment banker friend to share with her the realities of the job. The long hours. The lack of personal time. The amount of paperwork. The level of stress. The demands of the job from bosses and customers.

Young girl changed her mind.

She wanted the benefits. But not the effort required.



There's a trade off to everything.

Companies do not compensate one employee better than another for no reason.

(sucking up to bosses excluded)

(MIWs also excluded)